Dear Eric: My son is married; His wife is the main support. They maintain their separate finances, and he pays half or everything, just even a real section for him.
After having a baby, he wanted to return to his “prior weight to the baby”, so he enrolled in this extent diet plan where all the food is semi -surrounding in a box.
My son has had to provide his own. Do not sit down at the same time.
When his wife makes his auxiliary purchases, he has to pay for half, since much of that is for the baby and his cat. But she does not buy edible for him specifically and he has to stop at the store and collect food in her own penny and prepare the owner’s dinner when she gets home.
The girl is now in 3. My daughter -in -law has not returned to her weight exactly before the baby because she does not strictly adheres to the diet, but she looks good. And she is a good cook and seems to enjoy aspects of the kitchen. But she continues this expensive dietary food plan and is not responsible for feeding her husband in meals.
This is something that I find incredible unacceptable, but I know that things are different today. There is a part of me that feels that it is the wife’s duty to prepare dinner, as is the duty of the husband cut the grass and take out the garbage, and that she remains in this diet, worse, she has to plan Meals and fix the dinner.
I fight to have a good relationship with her, so I don’t say anything. But what do you think about this?
– Dinner is optional
Dear dinner: You will be much happier if you stay out of your food fight. Because you have written, it is not a fight for them, only you.
Maybe this arrangement does not work for your child and is tired of making your own food. But he is an adult and rests them. If it is a problem, he and his wife have to be the ones who solve him together.
I think that a simple solution would be that your child adds its groceries to the list with the baby’s food and that of cats, thus sharing all food costs equally. Or you can also start asking for prepared meals.
But inserting yourself, also with tacit opinions, will lead to resentment. More specifically, it is not appropriate and must choose another path.
It will be easier for you to have a relationship with your daughter -in -law if she releases her from her expectations (and keeps her eyes off her scale).
Try to see her as a person who is doing what she can to make the most of her time as a worker, mother, wife and some who do not always not always because the refrigerator wonders wondering about dinner.
Dear Eric: From time to time, I listen to a gossip about someone I know.
Usually, neutralize the comment by saying: “I find it difficult to believe.” And sometimes I add: “I don’t like to believe comments like this unless I had that experience and I only house it.”
When I can, I try to continue with the theme of gossip to obtain real history.
Recently I had to be careful because a person I know had a bone dealing with alcoholism in the past.
When I asked, I discovered that this was not true, and that my other friend could have the wrong idea because they worked in an alcohol center as a lawyer.
I am slippery, and I think we would all be better if we did not reach conclusions.
Should I return and talk to the original gossip to share alternative history?
– Truth counter
Dear truth: In the work (and the film) “Doubt”, there is a true barn of a monologue in which a character compares the gossip with the feathers of a pillow down, which takes the wind, that the gossip receives instructions to collect and things back in the pillow. “It cannot be done,” says the gossip, realizing the magnitude of his act.
The gossip can be framed simply as transmission information, but in the event that it has presented, it seems that the gossip was pulling recording feathers, under the appearance of warning him. They should know better and do better.
Personally, I would like to trust this person’s account in the future.
He would do everyone to return to the gossip and correct his story. You can also remind them that spreading stories that are not based, in fact, has consequences: it can damage the person who is cotilizing and makes the gossip not reliable.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingeric.com or Po Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19110. Follow it on Instagram @ouric and register for your weekly bulletin in Reichomas.com.
