Shey means “I do”, while I still cling to “I did.”
The unconventional tribute of a girlfriend to its late husband has caused emotional fireworks before the ceremony begins.
A 30-year-old boyfriend shared in the infamous Reddit forum “Am i the a-hole” last week, he is enclosing horns with his fiance on a particular detail of the wedding day: his plan to use the wedding ring of her deceased husband in an autumn chain.
“There is a leg that is eating me,” admitted the poster.
The woman, Emily, was previously married to Tyler, who died in a tragic car accident five years ago. The couple had married at age 20 and, the Redditor wrote, were “truly in love.”
“At first, she was very open, and respected him. She knew that when she entered this relationship it was not her first great love,” and agreed with that. I’m still, especially, “he explained.
“Over the years, I supported it through moments of complaint, anniversaries, random waves of sadness,” he continued.
The Reddit user said that “she still visits her grave on her birthday, and she maintains a box of her things in our closet,” and “has never touched it.”
But when Emily revealed the plan to use Tyler’s ring around her neck (à the “sex and the city” Bride Carrie Bradshaw) as “a quiet tribute” duration of his nuptials, his fiance was stunned.
“He said he would not be where he is now without having gone through that loss, and he wants to bring that part of his history to this new chapter is significant,” he used.
“I said a lot at that moment because I knew how to answer. But the more I sat, the more it bothered me. So I finally told him how I felt.”
He confessed that it was spread “wrapping my head with the idea of hurting another man’s wedding ring, only if he has left.”
“I told him that it makes me feel that I am sharing the most important day of my life, some who are not here. I said it makes me feel second place,” he continued.
Emily was delighted.
“She calmed down a lot, after she was ‘choosing’ him over me, and that he is allowed to honor the attacks while advancing,” he recalled.
“She said that the complaint is not for you, it only becomes part of who you are. I understand it. I really do it.”
“But at the same time,” he added, “I don’t think he is asking something scandalous to want this one day, to be about the life we are building together, not the one he lost.”
Reddit users were largely in the corner of the boyfriend, with the best commentator, who also lost a spouse and married again, with an unbroken weight: “His wedding is inherent, involved and in fact about his relationship that is not due not to be.
“My concern for you is that she is doing it as a species or apology for him for moving forward,” they added about Emily’s “outlander” movement to use two wedding rings.
“I would like to be at the recurring end of that either.”
Another user gave a more diplomatic tone: “He would firmly suggest the advice of couples and that that impartial third party helps both with this problem.
“If Sheer is the ring, you will hurt yourself. If you don’t use the ring, it will hurt. This could be a cause representation from the beginning.”
Others broke commitments, such as lighting a candle in Tyler’s memory instead of using his ring “while walking back down the hall.”
“You are not mistaken for your feelings and she either,” wrote a redditor. “You just need to find a different commitment.”
