An impressive announcement has sent ice cream chills through the world of hockey. The day of the inauguration of the 2026-27 season, President Donald Trump imposed hunger rates for anything Canadian used by US NHL teams.
Citing “tremendously unfair commercial practices” and the need to “make American hockey again again,” the White House presented a hat trick. Integral rates of 25% on Canadian teams, players and Arce syrup served in concession positions.
“For too long, American hockey teams have suffered a tremendous trade deficit with Canada,” Trump said from the rose garden, the hockey stick in his hand. “They send us their Crosbys, their Mackinnons, Marcharands and Tim Hortons Coffee, and what do we have? It is a disaster, friends.”
According to the new “Hockey America First” policy, Canadian players will now require special work visas after each game period. The teams must also pay import tariffs in Canadian hockey sticks, records and t -shirts, with the president insisting that “US trees are the best hockey sticks, believeme me.”
The Toronto Maple Leafs and Montreal Canadiens immediately announced retaliation measures, including a 50% tax on executors born in the United States and a complete prohibition of Zamboni imports manufactured south of the border. The Canadian Prime Minister declared: “We will build our ice afflators … and the Americans will pay for them.”
The Boston Bruins, with their list very populated by Canadians, have already begun to train US replacements in Alabama and Arizona, many of which, according to the reports, asked: “Why does the end of the stick hit the album?” The Oddmakers of Vegas have given the Bruins from 10,000 to 1 probabilities for the next season Stanley Cup. Meanwhile, the New York Rangers have started emergency contacts with former university lacrosse players with exceptional stick management skills.
Economic expert project The rates will increase the cost of operating a NHL franchise by approximately $ 47 million per team, and most of that is attributed to the “strategic reserve of maple syrup” that each sand must mount in case of a Canadian embargo.
Perhaps more controversial, the anthem “or Canada” that is reproduced in the United States will now incur a $ 10,000 tax per song. It is said that teams are experiencing with instrumental versions that expect to avoid detection.
Hockey fans in North America are resorting to social networks to demand a repeal of this so -called “hockey tax”. “This is not just a rate: it is a body control in the game,” an analyst lamented, shaking his head for a $ 15 mold. Fans wonder if this international hockey crisis will be resolved, or if the next season he will really have US teams that fight to pronounce “hu” correctly.
Francois Melese is Economy Professor at the Naval Postgraduate School in Monterey and Vice President of the California Institute of Arts and Sciences.
