Dear Harriette: To all my friends are in operation, and with Reglo have been talking about training for a marathon together.
They continue to encourage me to join them, saying that it would be an incredible challenge, a great union experience and something that would be proud of or achieving.
The problem is that I hate running. I have never enjoyed it and I have zero passion for it. The idea of training for months and running 26.2 miles sounds miserable, not exciting.
At the same time, I feel that I am missing when you do not participate. I don’t want to be the stranger while everyone supports and celebrates this huge milestone together. I worry that if at least I do not try, I will feel free or regret not being part of something so important to them.
Still, I don’t want to force myself to do something that I hate just for the adjustment.
Should I strive to try it anyway and see if I learn to love him? Or is it okay to say no and find other ways to connect with my friends without running a marathon?
– Group pressure
Dear group pressure: It is understandable that you worry about losing impulse and intimacy with your friends if you are the only one who chooses not to participate in the race. That’s ok. The dynamics of the relationship change over time, and it is fine that you do not participate in something that does not interest you.
There is an alternative. With your limited interest in sport but a real interest in your friends, considers to offer document your process.
Would you be willing to go to practice once a month, or with some other frequency, and take photos of them in your career? Interview them periodically about their experiences? Offer another logistics support while training? To be there on marathon to cheer them out and register their success?
This could be a lovely way to stay connected to them without having to do what he does not like.
Dear Harriette: A few months ago, my son was brutally attacked and swayed outside a nightclub. He ended up having three surgeries and is still in physiotherapy.
Grateful, you can finally walk again, but have to take care of it and see it that way I broke my heart.
Your 40th birthday approaches and plans to have a party. I can’t understand this.
After an experience close to death, why would you want to return to the party? Isn’t that how we get here first?
– Fearful mom
Dear fearful mom: As a mother and the one who took care of him where he is today, makes sense to worry his next steps.
What you don’t want is for your child to remain fearful and get away from life. Having a party to celebrate your life can be a wonderful experience for him and every presence. Do not discourage him.
At the same time, you can encourage you to safe decisions for your life. Whatever your role in being hurt, as possible not to be sober, you should examine so that you don’t repeat those mistakes. He can also take personal defense classes.
Harriette Cole is one of life and founder of Dreamlepers, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send toaskhariette@harrietcole.com OC/or Andrews McMeel Syndionction, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
